"I Could Have Been Morrison" Modernhide Custom Leather Pants

These $257.10 Modernhide custom leather pants are Dusty's go-to "artistic credibility" piece, commissioned during his disastrous London trip where he auditioned for the role of Jim Morrison in a West End production. Despite the casting director's actual feedback ("Please stop licking the microphone"), Dusty insists they "weren't ready for someone as next level as me" and now tells everyone that "no one goes to plays anymore anyway."

Crafted from "premium genuine leather" (which Dusty pronounces as if it's a rare material only available to celebrities), these brown slim-fit pants have been modified with stretch panels hidden in strategic locations to accommodate his muscular thighs while maintaining a painted-on appearance. Unlike Morrison's authentic vintage pairs, Dusty specified "the Morrison look but you know, without all the gross stuff" and had his personal tailor add invisible reinforcement in areas where actual rockers' pants would naturally wear out.

Dusty wears these exclusively when he wants to appear "deep" or "edgy" at industry parties, always with a practiced casual reference to "this little theater project I was headlining in London" before seamlessly transitioning to how he's "actually more selective than most people realize." His stylist keeps backup pairs in three slightly different shades of brown, and Dusty has a 35-slide PowerPoint presentation saved on his phone detailing the differences between his pants and actual vintage Morrison pants, though no one has ever asked to see it.

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